“Cognitive Dissonance: The Invisible Trap of Narcissistic Abuse”

Let’s talk about the REAL crazy-making of narcissistic abuse.

Everyone says “the confusion is the hallmark.”

And it is.

But confusion isn’t just not knowing what to do.

Confusion is not knowing what’s even real.

Confusion is not knowing if the person standing in front of you is the safe one or the dangerous one. Because they’ve shown you BOTH versions.

Confusion is asking yourself:

Is he a good man who’s hurting…

or a hurt man who’s choosing to do harm?

Is this love… or manipulation?

Every time I tried to name it… to confront the pattern… to say out loud what I knew in my gut…

he flipped.

Not just in mood.

In personality!

Suddenly he wasn’t cruel, he was soft.

Childlike.

Innocent.

“I didn’t mean to.”

“You’re calling me the villain again.”

That was his line, every time.

“You always make me the villain.”

But here’s the truth:

I was fighting my own brain TOOTH and NAIL not to see him that way.

I didn’t want him to be a villain.

I didn’t want him to be a narcissist.

I twisted myself in a thousand directions just to avoid that label.

Because I knew if I said it… if I really claimed it…

I would have to do something about it.

And that terrified me.

So I stayed.

Trapped in the cognitive dissonance.

Trapped in the space between what I saw and what I wished were true.

Drowning in the proof but still telling myself..

“I need more… I need more… I need more.”

Because to accept the truth meant I had to face what it cost me.

And here’s what I’ve learned:

The ones who stay stuck the longest are also the ones who love the hardest… because they really don’t want to believe it could be true.

If this feels too eerily real for your situation too…

I see you.

I was you.

And you’re not crazy.

You’re not cruel for calling it what it is.

You’re not wrong for not having wanted to believe it either… why would you?

You’re someone who loved very deeply. You wanted to believe the best. You just needed a little more time before you could fully name the truth… because you know what the cost will be to your heart, mind, and soul.

It’s a threshold you never get to walk back from… the illusion is fully broken. It wasn’t love… it was abuse.

I see you.

When you’re ready to name it…

it’ll be on your terms. And you’ll know when the time is right, because you’ll finally be ready to be free.