“What Is Relationship PTSD? My Counselor Finally Gave It a Name”
Yesterday, during one of the most validating counseling sessions I’ve had in a long time, my new therapist gently gave language to something I’ve been living in for years.
She said, “You’re experiencing Relationship PTSD.”
And just like that, everything inside me softened. Not because I didn’t already know something was deeply affected in me after what I went through… but because someone finally named it with clarity. With compassion. With truth.
What Is Relationship PTSD?
Relationship PTSD (also called Complex PTSD or C-PTSD) is what happens when your nervous system is repeatedly dysregulated by emotional trauma in a relationship — especially when that trauma is chronic, covert, and psychological rather than physical.
It’s not just about being in a difficult relationship.
It’s about being in a dynamic where you are:
• Gaslit.
• Discarded.
• Love bombed.
• Emotionally manipulated.
• And made to question your own reality in order to stay.
Even after it ends, the trauma doesn’t just vanish. It lingers.
For me, that has looked like:
• Doubting my memories, even when I know they’re accurate.
• Feeling on edge in silence, waiting for the emotional rug to be pulled.
• Trying to explain my pain to people who will never understand.
• Apologizing for setting boundaries.
• Wondering if I’m “too much” — even in safe, loving spaces.
The Signs My Therapist Described
When my counselor talked about Relationship PTSD, she listed a few hallmark signs that hit way too close to home:
• Hypervigilance: Always scanning for signs someone is about to hurt or leave you.
• Flashbacks: Emotional, mental, or physical replays of past relational harm.
• Difficulty trusting: Even when someone has done nothing wrong.
• Guilt and shame: Especially around speaking up, setting boundaries, or choosing yourself.
• Emotional shutdown: Or bouncing between total numbness and deep overwhelm.
• Self-blame and confusion: The constant internal question — Was it really that bad? Or was it me?
And I just nodded. Because this is exactly what it feels like inside me. It’s like my body remembers what my mind keeps trying to forget.
What I’m Already Doing to Heal
Here’s what I want you to know: I’m already healing. And if this resonates for you — you can too.
What’s working for me so far:
• Therapy with someone trauma-informed and attuned.
• Writing — not just casually, but deep narrative integration to reclaim my story.
• Sharing my truth, even when it scares me.
• Practicing presence in safe connections (especially in new love).
• Tending to my nervous system and letting it learn, slowly, that it doesn’t have to be on guard all the time.
The healing hasn’t been linear. But it has been real.
Why I’m Writing “When Love Is a Lie”
This entire experience is why I’m writing my next book:
“When Love Is a Lie: A Survivor’s Guide to Reclaiming Your Truth After Narcissistic Abuse.”
It’s not just a story of what happened to me.
It’s a guidebook — for any survivor who’s been silenced, confused, and spiritually twisted in a toxic dynamic that masqueraded as love.
But maybe the most powerful part?
The companion journal I’m creating alongside it.
Because one of the hardest parts of healing is organizing your thoughts when your mind was trained to disorganize itself in order to stay safe.
The journal will be full of:
• Guided prompts
• Soul check-ins
• Clarity exercises
• And space to finally reclaim your voice, in your own words
It’s the tool I wish I had when I was trying to make sense of it all.
If This Resonates With You…
…you might be carrying Relationship PTSD too.
You are not alone.
You are not broken.
And you are not overreacting.
Your nervous system learned how to survive betrayal and confusion.
Now it’s learning how to feel safe in truth, peace, and love again.
