“Who Do Narcissists Target? (It’s Not Who You Think)”
We’ve all heard the assumption:
only naive or weak people fall for narcissists.
But that couldn’t be further from the truth.
In reality, narcissists often target people who are strong, empathetic, intuitive, and full of light—because that’s what they want to absorb, control, and ultimately drain.
The Early Trap: It Feels Like a Fairytale
If you’ve never been through it, it’s easy to think you’d see the red flags. But that’s the thing—there aren’t any red flags at first. Only green ones.
In the beginning, narcissists mirror you. They reflect back everything you are—your values, your dreams, your humor, your soul. You feel like you’ve found “the one.” You stay up talking for hours. You open your heart. You believe.
But while you think you’re connecting, they’re studying. They’re taking notes on what makes you tick, what you long for, what you fear. They’re customizing a mask that fits you perfectly. And they’ll wear it… until they can’t.
Speed Is a Major Red Flag
One of the clearest early warning signs? Speed.
They want to move fast:
• “I’ve never felt this way before.”
• “You’re my soulmate.”
• “Let’s move in together.”
• “I love you.” (In week one.)
It’s intoxicating. The chemistry is intense. It feels like a once-in-a-lifetime kind of connection.
But that’s the plan. They create the high to set the trap. And the higher you fly, the farther you’ll fall when the mask slips.
Pay Attention to How They Talk About Their Exes
Here’s a tip: ask about their past relationships.
If every ex was “crazy,” “toxic,” or abusive… it’s not a coincidence. It’s a pattern.
Healthy people can usually reflect on past relationships with nuance. “It just didn’t work out.” “We weren’t aligned.” “I made mistakes too.” But narcissists need to be the victim or the hero—never the villain.
That narrative is a clue.
When the Real Them Starts to Show
After the love-bombing phase, the cracks appear. Subtle jabs. Cold silences. Emotional withdrawals. Hot and cold behavior. You’ll try to win back the version of them from those magical early days—but that version never existed.
They become the source of your greatest joy and your deepest pain. And they position themselves as the antidote to the poison they feed you.
That’s the beginning of trauma bonding.
The Devastation of the Trauma Bond
You know something’s wrong. Your brain sees it. But your heart clings to the connection.
You twist yourself in knots trying to make sense of it, to fix it, to keep the love. That’s not because you’re stupid or gullible. It’s because you were manipulated with precision.
Cognitive dissonance sets in. You’re trying to reconcile two conflicting realities: the person they showed you, and the person they became.
It’s emotionally disorienting. And it’s devastating.
So, Who Do Narcissists Target?
Not weak people and not gullible ones.
They target:
• People with big hearts
• People with empathy
• People with emotional intelligence
• People who believe in love and connection
• People who want to believe the best in others
They target light—so they can siphon and dim it.
Final Thoughts: No Shame, Only Truth
If this happened to you, it’s not because something is wrong with you. It’s because something is right with you—something they saw and wanted to control.
You’re not broken. You were targeted. And now, you’re waking up.
Healing starts with telling the truth. If you needed to read this today, I hope you know—you are worthy of so much more.
